A FASHION & LIFESTYLE BLOG

25/02/2016

The Single One.


This is probably one of the most exposed posts I've ever written but you know what, sometimes you've just gotta get it out. A quick disclaimer - I am in no way shape or form slamming relationships or men, I'm simply sharing my thoughts and feelings.

In a world full of relationships (or so it may seem that way) being single can sometimes feel like a burden. I am going to share a scenario I experienced that I'm sure you single ladies can relate to. 

Rewind and imagine this - you're in a bar, house wherever it may be. Friends are discussing the dates they've been on or where they are going on holiday with 'bae'. Suddenly they turn to you and ask the burning question that you've been expecting to hear all night... so what's going on in your love life? You simply reply with one answer, nothing. What response do you get? Silence, absolute silence, followed with oh okay...
How does that make you feel? It makes you feel like the single one.

I can't tell you the amount of times this has happened to me since being single and the more I experience it the more I ask myself, why is being single seen as so negative? 
In the words of Alessia Cara, ' Don't ask, I don't need a boyfriend.' Claps for Alessia because it's true. Don't get me wrong having a 'bae' is wonderful, relationships can be wonderful...but what's so wrong with not being in one? 

At this particular time in my life I'm focusing on development. I want to grow in every aspect, learn, make mistakes and most importantly see new things. If he happens to come along around this time then great, if he doesn't I'm not going to crawl into my room and cry. 
In the two years of being single, I've learnt some valuable reasons as to why it's actually great not having anyone. You learn a hell of a lot about yourself and also the people around you. So grab that title by the horn and own it, why wouldn't you want to? 

EVALUATION 
Being single allows you to evaluate what you want from a future partner. In the past I've gone for such shitty individuals as I like to call them and you wanna know why? Because I rushed, I didn't actually take a step back and think, is this what I really want? 
If you are looking for a relationship then take my advice and really think about what YOU want. When he or she comes around if they not right, I can guarantee you your shitty detector will be on point! 

FOCUS ON ME 
I'm singing the chorus of Focus by Ariana Grande right now, again using lyrics to describe something - anyway off topic. 
If you're anything like me, when in a relationship you devote every fibre of your being to that other person. Hey there's nothing wrong with that, it's called caring and again nothing wrong with that. In this time focus on YOU, devoting yourself to someone is actually so draining! Do the things you love, create, explore, this is your time. 

NO DRAMA
Now I'm not generalising here because not all relationships involve drama but...a good few do and it's just something that happens. Ever had to listen to a friend talking about the latest drama going on with the boyfriend? 
When you take a step back and realise that you have no 'relationship' dramas it's such a good feeling! 

REALISATION 
Continuing on from my opening statement, I explained that sometimes you can be around individuals who make you feel 'weird' for being single. 
Through your life you will decide who you want to be around and also who you want to get rid of. If anyone is making you feel shit or putting you down for not having a boyfriend, then girl bye see you later. I will NEVER ever understand why anyone would want to put someone down in any aspect. It's pathetic, childish and most of all just damn disrespectful. 
Unfortunately society has made us believe that being single is a bad thing. I'm here to tell you that it's not and anyone who wants to disagree with that, I have no words for you. 

So embrace being single ladies, it's a wonderful time in your life and don't let anyone make you feel like it's not. Keep developing, learning and most importantly strive for what YOU want.
10 comments on "The Single One."
  1. This is my sentiments exactly! Single life is not a bad life! It is totally unrealistic and foolish to put life on hold or think life is incomplete because you dont have a significant other! Make yourself significant and live your life to the fullest with or without bae! Great post Alisha you didnt expose yourself at all just shared some very wise words everyone should listen to! - xx

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  2. So in love with the photo and it´s colours! And you look stunning!

    Amy
    A NICE AMY

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  3. I agree what with you said here Alisha. I've been a long-term relationship for several years but I remember what it was like to be single and how people used to react to it. Why do people even ask how your love life is?! It's always bound to lead to an awkward response lol x

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  4. This photo and the colour combination.

    You look amazing!!!!

    www.thesisterwardrobe.com

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  5. This photo combination is cool, I love it.
    And yes, single life is not bad life.
    I'm in a relationship but ldr and he live so far away in California now and I feel single too sometimes haha.
    Well yes, focus on yourself is a good choice.

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